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Most temper tantrums happen between ages 1 and 3. But you can help keep them to a minimum.

Temper tantrums are a child's way of expressing feelings. It's normal for children between ages 1 and 3 to cry, scream or stomp to show frustration or anger.

While these tantrums are unpleasant—and, at times, embarrassing—they are a part of a child's development. After age 3, temper tantrums tend to improve.

The American Academy of Pediatrics offers this advice for helping your child through this trying stage of development.

Why children have tantrums

Young children want to be in control. They want to be independent and make their own choices. They may not cope well when they don't get their own way.

Children sometimes can't fully understand their parents, and often get upset when others can't understand them. Sometimes children get frustrated when they are hungry, tired or uncomfortable.

Physical limitations can also cause young children to get upset, especially if they can't walk or run without falling, get up or down from chairs, or put something back together.

All of these are normal feelings that even adults have from time to time. But until they learn to cope with their feelings, children may act out their frustration and anger by:

• Crying and screaming.
• Hitting.
• Kicking.
• Stomping.
• Being mean.

Temper tantrums are a child's way of letting off steam. But by age 3, temper tantrums should start to taper off.

Tantrum alert

Parents can often tell when a tantrum is coming. Your child may seem more moody, cranky and difficult. He or she may start to whine and whimper. Sometimes nothing will seem to be of comfort. Finally, the child may cry, kick, scream, fall to the ground or hold his or her breath.

Children often have tantrums only in front of their parents, testing rules and limits. It may be a small comfort, but tantrums are actually a sign that a child trusts his or her parents and will take more risks when parents are nearby to help.

How to help prevent tantrums

One step you can take to head off temper tantrums is to make sure your child doesn't get overly tired or anxious. Try to:

• Time busy or stressful activities when your child is not tired.
• Avoid long trips or visits where your child has to keep still.
• Set reasonable limits and don't expect your child to be perfect.
• Serve healthful snacks if meals will be late.
• Avoid situations that will frustrate your child.

Consider letting your child have his or her way when the issue is minor. For example, your child might want to get dressed after breakfast instead of before. If you always say no to your child, he or she might have more tantrums.

Other ways you can help prevent tantrums are to:

• Give simple reasons for rules.
• Draw your child's attention away from a frustrating activity to another activity.
• Keep a sense of humor.

Reviewed 2/23/2024